Shortly after I had my "rainbow baby," I began to beg the Lord once again for "more." More of his power in my life. That abundant life that I had been praying for earnestly before we lost Hope, and well, to be honest, that I have longed for my entire life.
I opened up my Bible to Acts and started to read it over and over again. That part where it says God will pour out his Spirit on his sons and daughters in the last days. I read how the early church "did church." I told God I didn't buy it - I didn't buy the belief that those miracles were only meant for the people in Acts. Where is your miracle-working power, God?? I want to see it! I want to see the fruit flowing from my life, limitless peace and joy. All the outpourings and gifts from the Holy Spirit. That's what the Bible said. The Bible says they existed, and they still exist, and I wanted more of His Spirit so I could see them!
Well, can you guess what happened next? God sure likes to answer my prayers in funny ways. I found out there was something really wrong with my thyroid. The thing is, I have never been the kind of person to visit the doctor. I had a flare up of some digestive symptoms that I've had in the past, and since I'd seen a homeopath for several months who had successfully treated me, I knew I could go back to taking the remedies she had me on and I'd be fine. This time, I felt strongly that I should go get a check up. Looking back, I know this "feeling" was from the Lord.
The nurse practitioner told me I wasn't, er my problems, weren't "normal." Haha. I was kind of prepared for this. Like I said, I had a backup plan with the homeopathic remedies. I just wanted to make sure I would be taking the right ones for whatever was going on. But I wasn't prepared for her to find a sizable lump on my thyroid or to realize that my thyroid was practically gigantic . . .
Before I get ahead of myself, I want to stop right here and talk about what I believe the Lord was doing. He orchestrated all of this journey with my physical health to get me to a place where he could heal me spiritually. Just like I had ignored the state of my thyroid for so long, I had also ignored some painful sins of the heart for probably at least the same length of time. The story of how God shrunk my thyroid and removed the lump is amazing, but even more so amazing is how he took me on a journey to heal my heart and answer that prayer for "more."
That lump on my thyroid led me to desperation. I knew that regardless of what it consisted of (and I'd been recommended for a biopsy), it would be extremely difficult, almost impossible, for me to treat it in the natural realm. I had already tried essential oils, herbs, diets - you name it, I had probably tried it - for my health. Until God provided me with the financial means to see that homeopath a few times and I had begun to feel much better. But you know with a solid lump like that, it's pretty serious stuff.
Anyway, I had to make some decisions about that, and we also needed to find a new church since ours had just closed down. In my life, I've been called stubborn, and it always sounded negative to me, so I like to think I have what I call "a refusal to give up." I just can't. I couldn't give up on who I believed God to be. So we had these verses that had been given to us during the stay at the hospital while fighting for Hope's life. They said things like "heal me and I will be healed” (Jeremiah 17:14). And Hope hadn't been. But I walked past these same verses on my dresser every day, and told Jesus "I just want you to heal me."
I was also kind of upset that the first church we'd ever been close to making our home had closed. What was I to do, where was I to go to for prayer? As always, God had a way of using this development for my own good. I remembered that I'd been invited to a church for prayer right before going to into labor with Hope. It was kind of an unexpected thing, as the lady who'd invited me was a mere Facebook acquaintance. She lived in my area and we'd taken an online nutrition class together. Never met in person. I'm so thankful to God that there are no such things as "coincidences," only divine appointments!
Anyway, in her invitation, I remembered she said that her church believed in "healings." Again, there was this "feeling" that we needed to visit there. I asked one of my friends from our previous church where they were now attending, and she said it was the same church that this lady had mentioned! So off we went. Straight after the service I walked up to complete strangers and asked for prayer for my thyroid. Something miraculous happened right away - my thyroid shrunk! Little did I know this was just the beginning of my healing journey and a new adventure with the Lord . . .
(TO BE CONTINUED)